CONFESS AND PRAY
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
James 5:16 (NLT)
Any marriage counselor or pastor can tell you how important and tricky these verses are in marriage or any significant relationship. James is speaking here to the entire church family so they can apply these truths in their close relationships, especially marriages. Confession, forgiveness and prayer are essential to any healthy marriage or close relationship. They are necessary because we've all sinned and messed up, and the one we hurt the most is often our spouse or someone close to us. If we haven't recently had to apologize or confess something to our spouse or a friend, it's likely not because we're so right that it's not needed. It's more likely that we're blind to our faults or pride, or maybe we're afraid our confession will be used against us in the next argument.
Confession is an act of vulnerability and humility. Most of us may find this difficult. Too often, a marriage relationship is not a safe place to be vulnerable. Many of us are more concerned about being right than humbling ourselves and building a healthy marriage. Marriage requires this kind of hard work, but many don't realize it before they get married. We often don't recognize when we are being selfish, and we may resent it when our spouse or a friend brings it up. Seeing things from another person's viewpoint is usually extremely difficult.
There are many pitfalls here. Some try to confess some major offenses, like lying, cheating, or giving into some addiction, with a one-time, I've confessed that now, so let's move on attitude. This type of superficial confession doesn't deal with the underlying deep issues, and trust must be rebuilt. Others of us glibly confess the same thing over and over with no intention of changing. That only builds resentment and discouragement in our spouse or friends. That's not genuine remorse and confession.
In a healthy marriage or any close relationship, confessing my shortcomings fosters an atmosphere of transparency and trust. It breaks down walls of pride and defensiveness, paving the way for genuine communication and understanding. When loving, healthy couples are open about their struggles and mistakes, they create a safe space for growth and reconciliation. This mutual humility and honesty can strengthen the emotional and spiritual connection, allowing both partners to support each other in their journey toward wholeness. This is a part of what it means to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).
APPLICATION: With humility and grace, set aside some time to share your struggles, weaknesses, and mistakes with your spouse or someone important to you. Use this as a time to love, forgive, and grow your relationship. Then, pray for and over each other and watch God begin to heal you and your relationship. Remember, this is a process that requires patience, sacrifice, mercy and the bearing of one another's burdens over a lifetime.
PRAYER: Lord, please bring to my mind what I need to confess to You and someone I trust. Lead us toward forgiveness and trust of one another.
“… Our Father in heaven…” Matthew 6:9b (NLT)
- What do You want to say to me today as my Father?
“… may Your name be kept holy.” Matthew 6:9c (NLT)
- What do You want to reveal to me about Your power today?
“May Your Kingdom come soon.” Matthew 6:10a (NLT)
- Help me make Your priorities my priorities today.
“Give us today the food we need,” Matthew 6:11 (NLT)
- Is there anything specific You want me to do with my time or the people I’m around today?
“and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
- Reveal to me anyone I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness.
“And don’t let us yield to temptation…” Matthew 6:13a (NLT)
- Is there anywhere I’m vulnerable to temptation?