Looking back…
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."
Isaiah 43:18 (NIV)
Spending my commute to work looking outward, I was determined to have a good day. The second cup of coffee was doing its job, and I was fired up! I started the workday with some momentum. I was answering emails and calling people. My inbox quickly became my outbox as I was being productive. Then my supervisor asked to see me. I was still on my caffeine high as I skipped down the hall to her office. She asked me to sit down and showed me some numbers related to my department… and they were below average. My supervisor told me there was time to pull the numbers up, and then she said, I know you can do better than what these numbers show.
My caffeine high disappeared instantly as I felt my neck get red and my face flush. I felt like I was being chastised like a child, but in my head, I knew my supervisor was being encouraging.
I don’t remember much about the rest of the conversation, but as I walked back to my office, I remembered a similar experience in sixth grade when my teacher called me to her desk to talk about my grade on a test. The same feeling had come over me then as it had just now. I felt like I was a failure. I knew I wasn’t a failure, but it felt true to me. My sixth-grade teacher, one of my favorite teachers ever, was trying to encourage and help me, but I interpreted her actions as pointing out to me that I was a failure. I felt myself not only looking back in time but literally like I was knocked backward. More coffee or caffeine wouldn’t help this; only God could help, but would He be there for me? Was I worth the help?
APPLICATION: Spend some time with God asking Him to give you a truthful perspective about yourself. If there are areas to work on, ask Him for help. If there are areas that are excellent, accept the praise from your Heavenly Father!
PRAYER: Father, thank You for guiding me into all truth. As You reveal truth to me about myself, help me receive both the areas that are good and the areas that need growth. Thank You for Your grace and mercies, which are new every day. Amen.
“… Our Father in heaven…” Matthew 6:9b (NLT)
- What do You want to say to me today as my Father?
“… may Your name be kept holy.” Matthew 6:9c (NLT)
- What do You want to reveal to me about Your power today?
“May Your Kingdom come soon.” Matthew 6:10a (NLT)
- Help me make Your priorities my priorities today.
“Give us today the food we need,” Matthew 6:11 (NLT)
- Is there anything specific You want me to do with my time or the people I’m around today?
“and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
- Reveal to me anyone I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness.
“And don’t let us yield to temptation…” Matthew 6:13a (NLT)
- Is there anywhere I’m vulnerable to temptation?